Otsu and Mitsuko Converse in Lyon

listen/download: Otsu and Mitsuko Converse in Lyon (rough draft)

a magician puts a wretched sparrow in a box, closes the lid and then with a wave of his hands opens the lid again.
the sparrow in the box has been changed into a pure-white dove and comes flying out.
and you're that wretched sparrow.

Mitsuko - you really are a strange one, aren't you?

Otsu - maybe i am, but i didn't change myself. i was transformed by the conjurings of God

M - listen, could you please stop using that word "God." it makes me nervous. i can't relate to it. and it doesn't mean anything to me. ever since i was in college i've felt distant from that word "God" which the foreign priests used.

O- sorry. if you don't like that word we can change it to another name. we can call him Tomato, or even Onion if you prefer.

M- all right then, just what is this Onion to you? you said at school that you really didn't understand him very well when someone asked you whether God existed.

O- sorry. to be honest at that time i really didn't know, but now in my own way i do.

M- tell me.

O- God is not so much an existence as a force. this Onion is an entity that performs the labours of love.

M- (she replied) that's even more repulsive. how can you use such unsettling words as "love" with a straight face? and what do you mean by "labours"?

O- well, for instance, the Onion found me abandoned in one place and at some time he gave me life in a completely different location.

M - (she chorted) that hasn't gotten anything to do with the power of your Onion. your feelings just sent you off in that direction.

O- no that's not true. it was the work of the Onion transcending my own will.

for that first time Otsu spoke decisively, and he lifted his eyes to look her directly in the face. he was different from the somehow ineffectual fellow she had known, whose only redeeming feature was his goodness.

they returned to the place Bellecour, where Mitsuko had noticed from her hotel window a convenient restaurant on a corner of the square marked by a statue of Louis (XIV). their table was surrounded by mirrored walls of vermillion color, and the table-napkins had been arranged like pyramids. the waiters looked on from a distance in bewilderment as the Japanese seminarian dressed in a stained robe seated himself.

dotting his threadbare robe with drops of soup as he ate, Otsu heaved a sigh.

O- this is delcious. how many years has it been since i've eaten something as good as this?'

M- you would've been better off not choosing your present way of life. there are any number of restaurants in Tokyo now that serve food as good as this. excuse me for asking, but is it the work of that Onion of yours that drove you into this kind of life?

Otsu gripped his spoon like a child and grinned.

M- you're a strange man. you're Japanese, aren't you? it makes my teeth stand on edge just to think of you as a Japanese believing in this European Christianity nonsense.

O- you haven't changed at all, have you Miss?

M- i haven't, but i'm serious.

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*****

egypt road, ohio

most credit for this track needs to be given to Brian Oilar, who was just screwing around, tuning his guitar a few weeks ago and played something that sounded like this riff. we had both been drinking a bit and I told him that it was "fantastic" and to play it again. one take. we tweaked it a bit (soaked it in reverb), spliced the thing and looped it probably 30 times to make what you're about to hear. no drums. no piano. no midi-mutations. nothing. just a simple clip from a cheap electric guitar (which has recently been confirmed by Alex to be severely out of tune)...turned song.

though most might not realize it, this is by far the most personal i've been with my lyrics in quite some time. possibly ever. the song isn't written from my own perspective, but i'm sure you would have figured that out.

it's long and repetitive, so brace yourself. i'm thinking this would serve best as background music (homework, dish-washing, drinking with friends, browsing the web, etc.) for most. i also find it to be more bareable when driving, late-night.

but the apologies/alibies end there. i'm proud of this one.


i'm too old to be pulling this
driving around aimlessly all night like this
i'm unstable
and unable
to change

as i stare off into the black
headlights turned off and seat pulled way back
i recall you
and the life that i had

i start crying my grown woman tears
i've had so many saved up through the years
my daughter
she wouldn't be proud



for a brief moment you come back
you're at the table in the kitchen with me
it's thanksgiving
you're tracing your hand

and as the years pass your blonde hair turns brown
and i'm getting older and sick of this town
but i hide it
enduring
vicariously

there will come a time when you realize, my son
your moment has passed and your friends have moved on
when this happens
just know that you're loved


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*****

lo light summer

in hoc signo vinces and
conquer she did bringing
free love to the empire

as i sat to write page one
from out my mouth came a muted hum
she heard it and she judged me some

being a tad bit shy my
cheeks turned lupus butterfly
damn her quiet steps

the end of the first tierce neared
while wearing my finest beard
...distant father, turned harbinger

one third of the angels fell
at the undeniable smell
of your lusting


you kept me around because
i didn't bitch when they avoided us
i'd sneak out to the spot

you'd lie in the grass arms out
point to the sky and shout
i'd missed another shooting star

you never realized this child
but my eyes rarely left your profile
in the darkness

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*****

bait/world is spacious

now, she's got time to make it through
now, she's got ways to make it through
i feel one way or another
i see things for one or another
she baits my time
and she'll bait yours

behind the milky walls
of her lonely ways
there she bosomed his letters
enticing, frightening persons
situation worsens
forgive us our threats
as we ignore our threators

say it
scream it
that's just fine
don't repress what's on your mind
just shut the door when you are through

believe it
see it
and be kind
take it as your own sometime
either way we're coming for you

i hope this news don't disturb you
it's far from new
someday you'll realize it's true

the moon is high, crisp and forlorn
the world is spacious and unforgiving
i have all night to relive my life
but i don't know where i am going or where i have been
i knew you would understand

i find that i am at my happiest
when i'm creating
whether that means music or that which is non-relating

in an interview with Pitchfork Henrik Markstedt said that
it is pathetic to aim to create some perfect pop song
i'm paraphrasing
but he closed by saying
something like if it's meaningful and beautiful to him
then who cares what anyone else thinks

i'm holding onto the wish that somehow my doppelganger is female
and can't beat me at arm wrestling

the world is spacious
i knew you would understand
i knew you would understand
me

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*****

8.2.09